Lost 4x13 and 14: "There's No Place Like Home pt. 1&2"

Lost continues to blow my mind.

Um... okay.

1. DESMOND AND PENNY ARE GOING TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER or at least for a while, until crazy Ben finds them and tries to ruin everything. But for right now, they're together and they're happy and that is all I need. I was extremely worried for Desmond in this episode (AND APPARENTLY FOR GOOD REASON - see video below) what with the bombs on the boat and everything, but Penny found him and I was so happy.

2. LOCKE is the dude in the coffin. Weird, but it probably makes sense. For whatever sinister reason the island has, Locke leaves to try and convince the Oceanic Six (and possibly Desmond, since he got off the Island and is now living happily ever after with Penny, YAY) to come back. And then, I guess the island didn't need him anymore, because he was allowed to die. So that's interesting. I'm guessing Locke probably spent a lot of time harassing the Oceanic Six because by this episode none of them were calling him by his real name. He was going by Jeremy Bentham instead, which after Googling is a guy I remembered hearing about in my Ethics class when we talked about utilitarianism. Bentham wasn't too big on natural rights, which is pretty fitting here.

2.5. All right, how many people saw that ad for the alternate endings here? I'm not sure what I expected, but it was just changing who it was in the coffin. They showed the endings on TV this morning and, well, frankly, both of these endings are UNSPEAKABLY HORRIBLE:



Horrible, and actually neither of them really makes any sense either. Sawyer, MAYBE. Desmond, NOT AT ALL. Why would he be hounding them and saying they need to go back to the island? Just... no. He just wants to be with Penny, screw the island's wishes. Sawyer could have happened because he was on the island still, and he was with Locke's camp for the majority of the season. It just would have sucked if he'd died because I just started to love him. But - UGH, Desmond and Sawyer both almost biting it? They're my favorites. STAY AWAY FROM THEM.

3. Benjamin Linus is awesome. I know he's crazy and he's trying to kill Penny (like Desmond would let him get away with that) but seriously, he's such a great character. I loved the time traveling bunnies line. He just keeps getting better.

4. So, I guess the island isn't a turtle. I'm a little bummed about that. But the reality of the situation is MUCH cooler - THE ISLAND TIME TRAVELS. YEAH TIME TRAVEL! I'm loving it. Because duh, the island can't really "move," although my sister pointed out that it would be really funny if the people in the helicopter turned and looked back and saw the island following behind them. But anyway - the island already does kind of exist outside of time somehow, what with the bearing being so important, Desmond getting unstuck in time, the doctor's body showing up on the beach before he's even dead on the boat, etc. So it makes sense that "moving" the island refers to moving it in time. I would like to point out that I figured this out before either my dad and my sister, neither of whom believed me at first. Probably because I wasn't explaining myself very well. But I did say, "the island moves in time!" Which was the point of talking about the bunny in the TARDIS booth Ben broke in the Orchid.

4.5. How lame is Jack's stupid "the island didn't move" stance? DUDE. It VANISHED right in front of your eyes. (That was a really cool effect, by the way.) What do you think happened?! Stop being so lame. Seriously, just suck it up and start believing in time travel like everybody else.

5. Jin's totally not dead. We didn't see his body, therefore he is probably still alive somehow. (How wrenching was Sun in that scene though? Man... I love her. And now she blames Jack for his death, because he was the one who said once and for all that Jin was dead and they weren't going back to check on the situation.) Michael, on the other hand, is very dead. "You can go now," said the island a.k.a. Christian Shepherd. That was because Michael kept trying to kill himself before, and the island wouldn't let him. But now, the island let him go. How gracious of it.

6. Keamy is finally dead. Ugh. Good riddance. He was terrifying.

7. What was with Hurley playing chess with Mr. Eko? And Sayid's total nonchalance about it made me laugh. He's just like, mm, whatever.

I can't believe we have to wait until January for the next season. I feel like we were just ON one of those dumb hiatuses. Oh well - such is life for a Lost fan.